Job Loss Anxiety
As of July 1st, 2020 I was laid off from a job that I enjoyed despite the challenges. Since then, I have tried to keep a positive outlook. Looking for roles that will fulfill me in terms of a challenge, but also purpose. It's not easy, jobs I felt that I am a strong suite for I get rejection emails. I was vocal about this process on Linkedin, but I wanted to share my thoughts outside of a professional settings.
Overall, my levels of anxiety have skyrocketed. Much of it feels like I cannot place it on a particular feelings. My attempts at mindfulness see me chasing my thoughts and spinning my wheels. I've woken up in the middle of the night, have had struggles getting to sleep, wanted to just sleep in the middle of the day. Worse yet, I have found it next to impossible to stick to my diet. I feel worse than I have in a long time. I've put on maybe 10 pounds since being laid off, but it feels like 50. I have not even attempted working out in this time. It feels like a slow spiral.
I've had productive days. Interviews, initial conversations, sorting out unemployment. These make me feel like myself again. They feel so temporary though. I feel like I get my feet under me for a couple hours and then I am right back to that spiral. I am confident that I am not the only one to feel these feelings. I've questioned my self-worth over and over again. I've had a few companies reach out about roles that I could not take. I feel obligated to take them though, it's odd.
During this all, I have had some very positive things that I want to highlight. The time with my son has been so rewarding. Terrible twos are a real thing and cannot be underestimated. I've had the chance to really deepen my bond with my son. He's a handful, but such a ray of light in an otherwise stressful time.
Another highlight is the people in my life. So many have offered support. I am so thankful that you are here.
Blogging is still very new to me, but I find solace in just typing out my thoughts. Not quite sure how to wrap one of these up. Thanks for taking the time to read!